Writing the Rules of The Waverider
by Forfangirls
Summary: "Rip was the picture of frustration; 'I have had it up to here with our team's utter insanity... So, in the very far-fetched hope of getting you all to handle yourselves appropriately, I've decided we should institute a set of rules and I want everyone to have some input.' A chorus of groans filled the room as Rip indicated for everyone to gather around the table in the bridge."


Author's Notes:

Credit to the amazing TheRedshirtWhoLived for writing this alongside me!

"EVERYONE TO THE BRIDGE!" came Rip's voice over the intercom.

As everyone slowly filed in, each saw that the captain was the picture of ultimate frustration. The latest mission had been an absolute _mess._ Kendra had almost ended up on a conspiracy theory website (again). Mick had almost burnt down a future historic site (again). Sara had put some creep in hospital (again, though Rip wasn't as mad about that one)

"All right, I have had it up to here with your bloody…"

"Shenanigans?" drawled Snart. Sara then smiled, flashing an innocent expression nobody was foolish enough to believe.

"ABSOLUTE BLOODY INSANITY!" exploded Rip, his hands flailing about as if to communicate the scale of his frustration. "I swear, very soon half our missions will be to fix mistakes made on _previous_ _missions_! I swear, sometimes you all act like children! And yes, even those of us whom have multiple lifetimes of experience!"

Kendra suddenly found her shoes quite interesting.

"So, in the _very far-fetched_ hope of getting you lot to handle yourselves appropriately, I've decided we should institute a set of rules and I want everyone to have some input."

A chorus of groans filled the room as Rip indicated for everyone to gather around the table in the bridge.

Rip walked over to the table saying "First rule on the list is obvious…". Rip paused and looked around, waiting for someone to answer the question he didn't ask. "Anyone?" Rip said. Several identical blank stares met his question.

"NO FUTURE TECH ON MISSIONS!"

A chorus of "oh"s and "ughs" filled the large space.

"Technically, the definition of future tech changes depending on what time period we go to-"

" _Shut up,_ Ray." muttered Jax.

"Well, for starters I firmly believe that legal drinking age on this ship should reflect the age determined our contemporary native cultures... ( after seeing a multitude of blank stares Dr. Stein continued) ...meaning we should not be allowing Jefferson to consume alcohol before-"

"Grey, I'm legal! I'm twenty-three!"

"Could've fooled me, kid." Len said with a smirk and his typical drawl.

Ignoring Snart's snark, Jax turned back to Dr. Stein saying "Plus, you're not really one to talk Grey, we all saw how irresponsible you were when you were my age!"

"That is- not the _point_ , Jefferson!" Dr. Stein spluttered, quickly becoming exasperated with his partner.

"Can we get back to the rules, please?" asked Rip.

"I vote we ban Mick from the kitchen grill and stovetop." said Kendra, finally speaking up.

"Remind me," said Mick, leaning over to Sara, "Why do we like her?" Sara simply looked back at the pyro, smiled, and said smugly "All in favor?"

After seeing Rip raise his hand, Dr. Stein and Ray followed in suit. Dr. Stein became exasperated with his partner once again- "Jefferson! How can you support allowing Mick back into the kitchen after the last three incidents?!"

Jefferson shrugged and said, "Have you had one of his burgers yet?"

"I did not expect this kind of…" muttered Rip quietly.

Sara and Len smiled and Mick laughed loudly once. He kept smiling even after his partner's smile had long faded.

Then suddenly, Snart's smile grew wider and thinner; "Sara here, is not allowed to seduce any more famous historical figures."

Sara rolled her eyes, but Rip simple says "Seducing historical- Ms. Lance!"

Sara smiled and looked at Rip expectantly.

"Sara, when did you- You shouldn't be seducing _anyone_ on our missions, regardless of how important they appear to be to the timeline! It could greatly alter the timeline!"

Sara rolled her eyes and said "Hamilton had it coming."

Rip suddenly went pale as Dr. Stein suddenly regained his desire to be included in the conversation regarding the more intimate aspects of his teammate's life.

" _You_ seduced Alexander Hamilton, one of America's greatest founding fathers and arguably the most influential man in the history of modern economics?"

Leonard, who still hated the first Secretary of State said, "If he wanted to keep his record clean he wouldn't have followed my wife home."

The team was rendered speechless.

After several seconds Rip began slowly; "Ms. Lance and Mr. Snart were on an undercover op in 18th century America, one which I had thought went smoothly until now. They were asked to pose as a married couple, but in what was in retrospect a _horrible_ decision, I allowed them to design their own covers. Evidently, they decided to become the instigators of one of the most famous sex scandals in all of history."

If two people could high-five with a look...

"Captain?"

"Yes, Gideon."

"May I make a suggestion?"

"Yes, Gideon."

"Crew members shall refrain from having food fights while on board the Waverider."

Everyone looked around, and even Sara was suddenly studying the floor. Len frowned. "Wasn't me."

Jax shrugged. "Me neither."

Ray looked at everyone, very confused. "Did I miss something, AGAIN?"

"I have a rule." said Mick, turning heads as he spoke up for the first time in several minutes.

"No miniskirts for blondie."

The rest of the team laughed, except Ray who looked confused and Leonard and Sara who simultaneous said "No way!"

Rip attempted to hide his laughter and remain professional. "Mick I think that is a lovely ide-"

Rip suddenly touched his comm with his hand, and turned away from the group as to better hear Gideon's voice in his ear.

Sara smiled, "If I can't wear miniskirts, Mick can't cause any more great fires."

Oh, if looks could kill. "What d'you say blondie?"

Dr. Stein rolled his eyes saying, "Chicago, Rome, London, _Pompeii_! The list goes on Mr. Rory but I believe-"

"Thanks Doc, we got it."

Finally Rip came back to the large table and said "Gideon has vetoed the ban on miniskirts. Let's move on."

Sara's face broke into a loose, smug grin and said, "Gideon, I had no idea you cared." as she leaned her arms on the table, giving the cameras behind her (and Snart) quite a view.

"I do not Ms. Lance, however the ban may disrupt the dreamscapes of Mr. Snar-"

"GIDEON!" Yelled Rip and Leonard simultaneously.


End file.
